COLLEGE AU MASTER POST

[tosshi]

yeah keeping it all to one post!

content warning for a lot of sexual and/or violent stuff just like this whole musebox.

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[unhallowed]

[He's been actively avoiding Gilgamesh since the incident at the church. He's absolutely insufferable to deal with at the best of times, and ever since he brought up his actual intentions it's become worse. Kirei has no reason to think it was a lie -- and now he can't stop thinking about it. His roller coaster of indulgence-by-proxy and self-inflicted punishment has gotten more extreme on both ends, and more and more it centers on Gil. He can't imagine trying to explain all the images he sees in dreams.

He's thinking about them now, as he heads home from an evening club meeting. It's getting dark, and he's lost daydreaming, not even noticing the weight of his messenger bag over his shoulder.]

[whoreofbabylon]

[Gilgamesh, in the mean time, has been dividing his time between looking for Kirei and following Arturia and Diarmuid around. Luck (and Gilgamesh's short attention span) had been on Kirei's side until tonight, when Gilgamesh catches a glimpse of him while heading off to some party or another. He waves his groupies off and makes a beeline for Kirei, draping an arm lazily over the other man's shoulder]

Kirei, I didn't know you were allowed to go out after dark~

[His tone is a low, half-mocking sort of purr]

[unhallowed]

[Oh great, here he is. Kirei's at once thrilled and disgusted by Gilgamesh's presence in his personal space. The latter is what he expects of himself, of course. The former... he'd like to avoid thinking about that. The arrogant tone of voice grates on him, but Kirei simply keeps walking.]

[whoreofbabylon]

[Ignoring him? Sorry Kirei, no one ignores him. He's Gilgamesh. People are in line to suck his dick. No, really, he'll probably have a waiting list if he ever makes it to that party.

For now, his attention is on Kirei, and on getting Kirei's attention.]

Not speaking with heathens either, are we? Pity, I stopped by just to see you.

[unhallowed]

It has little to do with your religion, Gilgamesh.

[Gil can follow if he likes -- Kirei is going home. He assumes there's no point in trying to hide his address, so he keeps going regardless of being followed. He has a feeling Gilgamesh would find his way there eventually anyway.]

You're irritating on a personal level.

[endureditall]

[Calling anything hell on earth would probably have been a laughable hyperbole to Kariya before - for all his disgust at his family, and all the stress and corruption, his home situation was something that was escapable. But this? Perhaps it was something akin to hell on earth, something he couldn't escape without plunging Sakura into even worse danger.

And then there was the issue of his brother - not Byakuya, of course, he couldn't bring himself to miss Byakuya terribly at all. No, there was his twin, still at home, still living under their father's thumb for reasons he couldn't understand. They had always been of a similar mind, him and Takaya. Through all of their family's madness, they had been inseparable, taking solace in one another's company in the way only twins could.

Thinking about it now is painful, the emotional equivalent to Zouken's twisted experiments. He misses his brother terribly, but fear and anxiety keep him from calling and asking why they aren't here together.

So perhaps it'd be best to try and push thoughts of his twin out of his mind for now. He's tired, worn down, sick from all the experiments and behind on reading for class. He'd like to just fall asleep right here on the bed, but he tries to be more responsible than that]

[ohbugger]

[It hasn't really been that long. Kariya left just months before their high school graduation, the moment he (and Takaya too) turned 18. Now it's a bitter winter, less than a year later, and he can't take it anymore.

He didn't want to stay behind. He'd listened to Kariya talk about leaving, about doing something about their family, and he'd waned to run right along with him. He'd even watched Kariya pack, watched him walk out the door, and he'd have given almost anything to follow. The one thing he wouldn't give, however, was Kariya himself. He knew very well that Byakuya was too incompetent to inherit the business, and that if the twins both ran they'd be chased -- that or they'd bring some other family's innocent child into the fold in their place. What was most likely though was that they'd be hunted down, dragged back, and severely punished for leaving at all.

But if just one of them left, what did it matter? There'd be an heir, and Takaya had no doubts that their parents would be more than pleased to see the two of them pulled apart. It had always vexed them to see the two of them together. Their close bond was a buffer between them and the molding of the family, and was likely the main reason they both turned out decent people.

It was obvious that was considered "bad". That's why they'd been given separate rooms when they were only 6, and why they'd been encouraged to study separately. But nothing could really separate them -- until Kariya left. That night, Takaya made the choice to be the sacrifice, and without telling his brother why (he wouldn't have left alone if he'd known), he'd refused to go.

Since then he's missed his twin terribly, with a ache worse than every pain their family had ever thrown at them. He's kept his head down and tried his best to be obedient even when it made him sick, but after this long he's just too lonely to bear it. So when they received word of where Kariya's going to school, Takaya slipped out in the middle of the night with a box full of their mother's best jewelry, sold it all for a big wad of cash, and got on a bus. They'll know where he's gone, of course, but he's prepared now to fight for their freedom if he has to.

He hasn't slept in two days of nervousness and travel when he comes up to the door he's been told is Kariya's and knocks softly in a pattern that's instinct and muscle memory by now. It's their signal for "I'm here, but be quiet", the one they used every time one snuck into the other's room late at night for comfort.]

[endureditall]

[For a moment, Kariya's sure he's hallucinating -- something brought on by the drugs and fatigue and loneliness. He considers ignoring it, but it's instinct and a faint glimmer of hope (can he really call it hope now? The thought of opening the door and finding Takaya outside makes him one part happy, and several more parts scared and angry and betrayed) that hurries him to the door.

His hand pauses as he reaches for the knob, and his mind is a blur of possible scenarios. He'd cry maybe, or laugh, or give Takaya a hug, they're all possibilities that flash through his mind, but to Kariya's horror, the most persistent, attractive option is feeling his thumbs pressing into his twin's neck and crushing his windpipe.

Needless to say, when he opens the door he looks obviously trouble, surprised, and almost angry.]

[ohbugger]

[Kariya looks different. Kariya looks terrible. The very first thing that hit Takaya's mind is oddly enough the fact that they're not identical anymore. The second is that Kariya looks half-dead, and that's terrifying. He doesn't know what he's supposed to say, and for a moment he flounders.

Then he sees the look on his twin's face, and his own expression just crumples.]

...Kariya?

[endureditall]

...Hey.

[He knows he looks terrible, but being face to face with the person who used to be his double is an undeniable reminder of how utterly broken he's become, inside and out.

He's an unsuitable test subject, and Zouken makes it a point to remind him often. His body has no affinity for the parasites and chemicals, and his only saving grace is his high pain threshold -- it's the issue of scarcity and Zouken's own sadistic pleasure that allows Kariya to keep coming back. But it won't last long, and Kariya knows it. His body is crumbling around him, the physical stress and the drugs have bleached his hair, the parasites have reduced him to skin and bones, and his left eye, on its way to permanent damage, is hidden beneath a medical eyepatch.

People talk, of course. When you watch someone slowly turn into a ghost of a human being, it's hard not to, and the only way Kariya can handle the situation is by shying away from people and wordlessly waving off prying questions. Mostly, he holes himself up in his room with his notebooks, hiding from Oscar and his classmates as much as possible.

Right now he wishes he could hide from Takaya too.

He knows he shouldn't be seen like this - if Takaya were to try and intervene, his arrangement with Zouken would be on thin ice. That fear, intermingling with the all-too-clear mental image of his fingers closing around Takaya's throat, makes Kariya flinch away from his twin]

What are you doing here?

[He doesn't know what else to say. The better part of him, the part that Takaya knows, is telling him to choke back the anger, but he can feel it seething inside of him.]

go away kate I know you're watching

[unhallowed]

[Every couple does something nice for their anniversary, right? Of course. So it's a given that he and Gilgamesh would want to do something really grand to celebrate two years since the day Kirei quit "trying", and the two of them became "official". Two years since Kotomine Risei's death.

They talked about it, a bit. Mostly, Gil went on about it while Kirei nodded and gave a few unenthused comments. He got more interested when Gilgamesh started to talk about what they should do. Indulge. Find a good source of enjoyment for the both of them and sink their claws in mutually. It would of course be to the tune of someone else's misfortune, but that was the point of most of their true indulgences. Playing with one another doesn't leave them wanting, but the truest form of pleasure is in watching someone else suffer, and especially in being the cause of that suffering.

There are two people that Gilgamesh has been wanting to claim for quite some time. Two, but one is so much prouder and so much more together than the other. Arturia could be broken, and she holds plenty of sadness, but she bounces back well, keeps her head up, and carries her weight with grace and dignity. They could go after her -- and seeing that pride sullied would be very pleasurable indeed -- but the effort would be greater and the long-term reward shorter than their other potential target. Arturia is a major campus figure. Arturia would get the police involved.

Diarmuid on the other hand is already broken, and only just being put back together. He's got enemies in high places and isn't likely to call authorities because of them. He already lives in the apartment and in hurting him they'd be in a position to prod at him daily until the living situation changed. They'd be able to make Cu suffer indirectly as well. All in all it'd be easier and have a high enough payoff to counter the extra joy of bringing Arturia down.

So they go for it. Cu leaves before dawn for a long day at sea doing field assignments, and a couple of hours later Gil and Kirei give D an unpleasant awakening, simply pulling him out of bed and dragging him to Kirei's room before he really knows what happening. After that, well... there are a lot of ways to keep someone quiet, and the two of them go through quite a list of them over the course of the day. They have everything they need right there, and Kirei has an entire memory card full of photos by the afternoon.

It's sunset by the time Cu's due to be home and they're wrapping their operation up. Diarmuid's in sorry shape, bloodied and bruised, violated and exhausted -- but nothing physical that the first aid kit in the bathroom can't take care of. At least, not until Gil's hands get just a little too tight on his throat during their last foray into sexual territory. Then, he starts to cough, and after all the muffled screaming and other such over-exertion he's been through today, his damaged lung can't take it -- he can't stop coughing, can hardly get enough breath, and when Gil doesn't stop his panic spirals into hysterics of an entirely different level than the other fits they've drawn out of him today.

No amount of pushing and scolding can stop this one, and when Cu gets home he'll find his boyfriend a naked, beaten mess on the floor of Kirei's room, gasping for air and sobbing in pain and fear as the two of them look on in varying shades of amused.]

He has medication for this, doesn't he? Maybe we should find it.

[whoreofbabylon]

[If being beaten, violated, and tormented wasn't horrid enough, Gilgamesh's involvement must have made the ordeal all the worse for Diarmuid - from the first time Diarmuid screamed, Gil's behavior was manic and overly violent. He thought nothing of grabbing Diarmuid's throat and choking him, caution be damned. Perhaps Kirei was right in wanting to avoid death, but at the moment Gil can't be assed to care. So another lowlife dies - it's nothing he can't get swept under the carpet, and he's always wanted to see the light leave the eyes of someone as broken as Diarmuid.

But Diarmuid's being boring now, and the sobs are a little annoying, so Gil laughs, finally getting up off the floor and draping on Kirei. He looks back down at Diarmuid, admiring his handiwork with a rather satisfied expression.]

We don't have to. I don't know where to look anyways.

[unhallowed]

The walls are too thin here. Someone probably heard what we couldn't keep quiet.

[Still, h's not terribly bothered. Gilgamesh probably could pull the strings to cover it up legally -- but the rumors he could do nothing about. That's the problem. Kirei would rather not have his reputation on campus ruined. Still, from what he can hear there's enough air getting in to keep Diarmuid awake, even if his consciousness is mostly because he can't stop coughing, and that's enough for him for now.

His fingers, stained with blood, lift to Gil's cheek, and he turns his lover's face towards him for a kiss.]

We don't want to let everyone know we're dangerous too soon. Still, it was good work.

[Another kiss, this one deeper -- he's high on the power, the sight of blood and tears, the sound of muffled screaming and the smell of sex and leather. It's a massive turn-on, and until it's the last moment he's content to ignore their victim in favor of getting a taste of his accomplice.]

[whoreofbabylon]

[He knows when Kirei is at the height of his enjoyment, when he's the most power-drunk and pliable. And Gilgamesh likes being near that most, where he can admire what he's wrought and enjoy a good fuck all at once. Eager to monopolize Kirei's attentions, he kisses back open-mouthed and tangles his bloodied fingers in Kirei's hair.]

It was entertaining enough. Seven out of ten.

[unhallowed]

Eight if we could kill him.

[He mutters against Gil's lips, turning to pull him closer and deepen the kiss. He's sure they'll be walked in on soon, but who cares? They aren't hiding what they've done, and they have a minute or few before they really need to go find that medicine.]

BABBIES...

[beautymark]

[It's funny, how time always seems to fly when you're happy and drag when you're not. The year that Diarmuid and Cu spent together as roommates and then lovers wasn't without its bad spots, but overall it was easily the happiest time of D's life. He'd loved and been loved before, but nothing could begin to compare to the way being with Cu made his heart sing and his whole life fall into place. With Cu, he felt truly home. It seemed like no time at all before the school year was over and summer was settling in.

That made it all the more jarring when things went off. The first wedge was Cu's decision to move to the west coast in pursuit of good graduate work. He'd be back eventually, of course, and after wrapping up his senior year, Diarmuid could easily follow him. But it meant a year of being long-distance, and it would have been a lie to say that D'd level of emotional dependence was healthy enough for that. The thought of being left behind in a place shared with the same people who'd pushed him to the edge in the first place made him panic intensely no matter how hard he tried to be supportive and hide it. Even knowing he had friends there too, it felt like he was going to be left to tread water without the rock he'd been so tightly clinging to. He did try to keep it to himself, but it couldn't be entirely dismissed, and the closer it came to the date of Cu's departure the more Diarmuid wanted to latch on and keep him from going at all.

Perhaps he'd gotten clingier despite himself. Perhaps he'd been too obvious, too full of nervous energy. There could have been any number of cues, but in the end they must have built up to something unbearably annoying. The day before the flight, when he came back from his evening class to see the last traces of Cu packed away, his nerves were running even higher -- and finally something blew.

He doesn't remember now what started it. He doesn't remember what they were really fighting over. He just remembers what he said (Cu was too flippant, he didn't understand anyone else's feelings, it wasn't right to be able to walk away so easily), what Cu said (D was too needy, he was stifling to deal with, he didn't have the spine to man up and deal with his problems), and how it ended: with Cu taking his last suitcase to the car and driving off in a squeal of tires and one last "fuck you".

Afterwards, the mutual insults hung in the air, fouling it and making it heavy. There'd been a lot of more biting, unfair and cruel things said by both of them once they'd gotten angry. It felt, to Diarmuid, like a massive betrayal -- Cu knew better than anyone how hard he'd worked just to get better as much as he had. Cu knew it wasn't so easy -- and yet he'd walked out like he had no intention of ever coming back. He'd left it on a foul note, and so when he started to call after a day or two, D refused to answer. It was just another attachment gone wrong, and just as Cu'd taught him, the best way to deal with that was not to let someone keep hurting him if he didn't have to.

It was two weeks before the daily calls stopped coming, and the rest of a month before he realised how stupid it all was. Cu was right. He needed to learn to walk on his own two feet, not expect someone else to carry him forever. He'd never get better if he didn't move forward by his own strength. It hadn't been fair to expect to be overcoddled, and it hadn't been fair to act like Cu was heartless for expecting him to be able to function like a normal person for a few months. Of course, after this long Cu was probably glad to be done with it. It was as good as over, and it was probably better that way. He'd just have to be an adult and admit his own faults and the faults of others. He'd have to stop letting himself be blind to things not going his way until they exploded. Cu didn't deserve to put up with all of his mess anyway. He'd already done more than anyone could ever be asked for.

And so Diarmuid never called back. A single fight turned into a permanent distance, and he set his sights on trudging forward, finishing school, and succeeding at something all by himself, without following someone else's lead. Of course, that didn't make his feelings stop. It didn't make him stop missing Cu, loving him and longing for him. It just meant he shut it down -- and he shut down any attempt to connect to other people, too. It was better to keep a distance, since getting attached always ended so badly. He shouldn't put anyone else through that kind of trouble on account of him.

It was noticable to those close to him, of course. The cheerful, often teasing friendliness he'd exhibited in the last year evaporated, replaced by something akin to the sad and quiet politeness of his time with Kayneth. It wasn't quite the same, of course. He was less jumpy, less prone to reacting fearfully to things. He wasn't on edge -- he was listless. Instead of looking harried, he just looked empty and wistful, and the change stuck out like a sore thumb to anyone who'd ever spent much time with him. Even Gilgamesh noticed (and complained -- he wasn't as fun when he just shrugged about being harrassed and allowed it to happen). At first, the rest of them thought it'd get better. Arturia and Oscar continued to hang around with him, and Archer kept contact despite being busy with his own post-graduating life. They figured the bad mood couldn't last, but it did. And when Oscar took advantage of his being single to (finally!) ask him out, the source became clear. He said yes, but the following few weeks were as if nothing had been decided on at all. He'd gained rights to sex, but unless distracted by physical relations or by the occasional night of drinking, Diarmuid remained distant and disinterested. Then one evening, after a few too many drinks, Oscar had found him curled up on the floor of the bar's bathroom, crying into his knees.

It only took a few questions to uncover all the hopeless depression he'd been hiding behind the listlessly calm exterior. After that, their "relationship" was gone, and Oscar began to openly declare his hatred for Cu. How could someone have something as good as they'd had and leave it? How could someone be given the heart Oscar had been chasing after his whole life and so carelessly break it? He wanted to punch Cu in the face -- but D just wanted him to come home. But it wouldn't be fair to ask it, so he never did. He just kept going, completely unaware that Arturia had started dropping not-so-subtle comments in her emails to Cu, and finally the school year was over.

After graduation, Diarmuid had originally planned to stay in the US with his friends. Now, he has no drive to do so. There are too many memories, and somehow he feels that the farther he gets from Cu and everything and everyone that reminds him of him the easier it will be to forget him and move on. So he decides to go back to Ireland, to help his father with his work and otherwise keep to himself.

It's a few days before he leaves that Arturia picks up the phone and calls Cu. She tries to explain how bad it's been. She tries to get across how lifeless D's become, and how afraid she is that he's just going to make himself disappear somehow. She tries to convince him that if he'd just come back and stop him, maybe it'd be okay. That Diarmuid still loves Cu, and that it's worth it to take a chance on saving something that had made them both so happy.

But D doesn't know about it at all, so now it's time to go, and he's shoving the last of his bags into his car. He's already boxed everything up that needs to be mailed and left instructions with Arturia to send it, and sold everything not worth keeping. This is the last time he intends to see this place, and he doesn't really want goodbyes. He wants to fade out of all of their lives and forget these years never happened. But more deeply, he wants a reason not to. He wants to stop hurting, and he wishes with every ounce of his being that Cu would get the sudden urge to call him and make it better. It won't ever happen, and it shouldn't ever happen -- but somehow it's still hard not to wish as he drags the final suitcase from the front door of the apartment building to the trunk and fumbles for his keys.]

Re: BABBIES...

[erank]

[It wasn't like leaving was easy.

Not at first, at least. Not when he'd been offered money to go to school on the west coast. It was one of those mildly surprising turns of fortune, because while he looked and acted thickheaded most of the time, Cu knew his way around formulas and charts and fish more naturally than most. He never thought about it much, and when the letters first showed up, he almost threw them away because he didn't want to muster the effort to figure out how things would go with a whole country between him and Diarmuid. It was easier to bum around spend the day on the local docks.

That's what he told Ferdia in one of those rare moments where he was online while Ferdia was mooching wifi from a coffee shop between sets. As older siblings are wont to do, Ferdia told Cu he was being a stupid dick, and who the fuck throws away free money and shit when it's just handed to you, and it's not like shit like the internet and airplanes and whatever didn't exist you stupid douchefuck.

Ferdia's an artist. Ferdia has a way with words. Especially the profane ones.

Ultimately Cu dug the letters out from his backpack and stared at them and after a while, everything those crumpled pieces of paper offered began to sound like something good. It took a lot of effort to remember the good when he finally broke the news to Diarmuid, especially when the sad, distant look on his face made Cu want to take everything back and laugh it all off like some dumb joke.

Maybe he let himself feel too guilty. Maybe that's why he began to feel like Diarmuid was being too needy and too absorbed in his own needs. It was something that Cu barely kept at bay, right up until the moment everything exploded in his face. He felt horrible when they first started yelling at one another, but the more he vented, the more he let the adrenaline and the frustration tell him that this was his chance to find the space and the freedom that he'd quietly begun to miss. By the time he threw his suitcase in the car and slammed the door, he'd convinced himself there wasn't any reason look back and regret anything.

The drive to the airport was a blur; the following days and weeks doubly so. He thought he was relieved at first, but the fast descent into more guilt, more anger, and more regret and uncertainty left him reeling. Looking back, he doesn't recall anything but the feeling of his fingers gripping his phone too tight, and the sound of the phone ringing on and on, unanswered.

He surrendered then, half to the fact that he'd fucked up something good, half to the fact that perhaps it was better off that way. The acknowledgement didn't make him feel much better, and without closure he settled into his new day-to-day mired in a sense of regret that he'd never cared enough to feel before. Irritable and unfocused, he drifted from class to class and from girl to girl with only a faint inkling as to what was really wrong with him.

The emails and texts were annoying at first, nothing more. After all, messages from Archer that read "stop being a jackass" or "you're just stupid as hell" weren't all that rare. As far as Cu was concerned, Archer was just as much of a jackass, and Arturia was overbearing, and mostly he just wanted to be left alone to his fish and his cigarettes and his sulking. May arrived without the stifling humidity of the east coast, and something about all the posters around campus reminding seniors to return their library books and finish their graduation paperwork made Cu think that if things had been a little different, he'd be going back east to see Diarmuid.

The thought punches him in the gut more than he expected, and perhaps it was another rare stroke of good fortune that Arturia chose that day to call. Cu's first instinct is to wave it all off and tell her that he's still over it, and that Diarmuid should try getting over it too.

What no one knew was that after he hung up, he kicked over a desk in the library, threw his phone at the wall, and stomped off to go pack a bag and buy a plane ticket.

By the time he pulls up to Diarmuid's apartment in the tiniest, junkiest rental car he could get his hands on, he's still not sure what the fuck he's doing. Cu sits in the car, watches Diarmuid close the front door behind him, and wonders if it's good enough closure, letting him drive off and then going home.

He almost wants to. He can't think of anything that he could say; there are no words in his head, only screaming, but the more he imagines it, the more pissed off he feels until finally he finds himself sliding out of the car and taking a few steps towards Diarmuid]

...hey.

[beautymark]

[There's definitely something different about Diarmuid now. A spark snuffed out, a weary disheveled look to contradict the neat and tidy way he used to carry himself. He doesn't look well -- he's emotionally and physically neglected himself for a year, and truth be told he seems like a wispy ghost of himself. None of the vibrant personality and honest strength he had before is showing. He's as worn out and lethargic as Arturia told Cu he was, and he sighs heavily as he reaches up to close the trunk.

He doesn't pay any attention to the sound of someone getting out of the car behind him. He doesn't even give it a glance, so hearing Cu's voice makes him jump and whirl around with his face as white as a sheet. For a moment, he's too stunned to speak. There are a million emotions welling up, and he has no idea how to process any of them. He's happy -- he missed Cu so badly that just seeing him makes Diarmuid's heart rise. But he's afraid -- why is he here? Is it going to be another fight? He doesn't think he could take that, and Cu didn't warn him at all...

For now he just stares in silence, looking as if he's seen a ghost.]

[erank]

[Cu's been wound too tight for a year now, and he hadn't realized it until now. Now he can feel something slowly coming undone inside of him, unraveling all that sadness and regret that he'd kept pent up inside. He'd been tense and venting it all by snapping, but right now, in front of Diarmuid, he feels like he doesn't have the energy to do much but collapse against him.

Of course, it's far too soon for anything like that, so instead he kicks at a pebble on the asphalt, hands shoved into his pockets.]

Arturia said you were going back to Ireland. Guess I wanted to see you again before that...

[A shrug, a nervous one, because suddenly he thinks that maybe Arturia had it wrong, and maybe he's just making things worse by showing up again]

[beautymark]

I... yeah...

[He barely get the words out, soft and hesitant. Once emotion hits his face it's something painful, sad and scared and conflicted. Part of him wants to run right to Cu's arms and refuse to let go. He wants to say he's sorry, beg and plead and offer anything in the world just to have Cu take him back. But the rest of him is sure that isn't fair, and that this is just closure and a last goodbye. He probably won't be able to hold Cu ever again. Just giving him a chance to say goodbye is more than he deserves, honestly.]

Uhm... I probably won't come back, so I guess-- this is really--

[He can't say "this is goodbye". It should be, but it's entirely too hard to accept, so after a few stumbling stutters his voice cracks, and he gives up and drops his face into his hands. He doesn't want to be seen starting to cry, but the only way he can describe what he's feeling right now is to say it feels like he's dying.]

[beautymark]

[So hey it's morning! It's only been a week or so since D ran off with Cu to the west coast, and the late-spring sunshine is streaming through the window of the cheap apartment, warming the bed and making it both hard to sleep and easy to stay in bed.

D's in that dreamy half-awake stage, tucked against Cu's side in the easy, close way he always used to sleep. It's as if nothing ever changed -- the whole year of separation could have been a bad dream.]

[erank]

[Cu recalls that a week ago, he was surprised to wake up, roll over, and find Diarmuid there. It was like something had just delivered him there, and Cu was almost scared to bother him for fear of fucking everything up again.

But it didn't take long for him to readjust - not when this was exactly what he'd wanted for so long. Now he has no problem lying there, grinning at Diarmuid and pulling teasingly at a lock of his hair]

[beautymark]

[That tug earns a half-hearted swat, as Diarmuid mumbles sleepily. He twitches, and only habit allows him to find Cu's ponytail to pull in return.]

No sleeping in...?

[erank]

[He chuckles when he feels that tug on his hair]

Well you can, but I'm gonna bug you anyways.

[beautymark]

No.

[less actually forbidding this and more whining about it

also putting a pillow over his own head to drown Cu out]