YAN-PARA au master post

[earthflames]

WHAT IT SAYS ON THE BOX.

Comments

[partyintheback]

He's a secretive man. Of course I haven't seen him in some time...

[plotarmor]

That's two of us. Sometimes he disappears for months - he's busy and Archer doesn't act like he's worried, but sometimes we all wish we knew where he was.

[partyintheback]

I wish I knew as well. There are things I'd like for us to do.

[plotarmor]

If you have business with him, I could ask him to drop by the next time he comes home...

[partyintheback]

Hm... Perhaps you should. In the meantime, there are some things for which you'd substitute well enough.

[plotarmor]

Like what?

[yeah sort of slowly sliding off the couch to get another cup of tea. yes good look at that emiya butt]

[partyintheback]

[hm

yeah let's reach out to hook a finger in the band of Shirou's underwear.]

Are you a virgin?

[plotarmor]

Hey, I nearly spilled aga--

[8( oh wait a second there are no more pants there, so--

UHM.]

Uhm... Kirei?

[partyintheback]

No need to be so bewildered. Is it any surprise that a priest who deals in contraband would embrace his natural urges?

[plotarmor]

I-I don't think so?

[GOD WHAT IF I MOVE AND HE PULLS MY UNDERWEAR DOWN OH GOD]

But I'm not a girl anyways, and I'm pretty sure you aren't, so...?

[partyintheback]

That has little to do with our potential ability to enjoy one another's company.

[plotarmor]

[Mild panic setting in? Mild panic setting in.]

There's nowhere to put it!

[partyintheback]

Of course there is. Shall I show you?

[tugs! come here Emiya.]

[plotarmor]

No! Stop that!

[tugged anyways, and he stumbles into Kirei]

[partyintheback]

[Shirou, meet Kirei's lap.

And have his breath against your ear.]

Are you truly entirely disinterested?

[plotarmor]

That's what I said, so cut it out!

[He tries to shove Kirei's arms away, but, well, when he puts it like that, when he's really close up like that, Shirou can't help but wonder








































if Kirei really is a girl.]

[partyintheback]

[No, no he is not Shirou.

But he is getting his arms firmly around you.]

Relax. Pleasure is a basic human need, Emiya Shirou. There is no shame in it and nothing to fear.

[plotarmor]

[NOPE, not convinced! Not relaxed!]

But it's coming from you!

[I mean okay Kirei seems like an okay dude but also a dude (maybe????) and wow this is weird and also no]

[partyintheback]

And why is that a problem?

[plotarmor]

[...............................he's......

he's got nothing.]

[partyintheback]

Precisely. You have an opportunity to learn something and enjoy yourself at the same time. Why reject it?

[plotarmor]

I just would! We only met, you know.

[partyintheback]

And that's a problem because...?

[plotarmor]

Because it'd be weird!

[No let go going to shove at Kirei's arms again and STOP CONFUSING HIM god damn]

[partyintheback]

[fiiine lets go.

I want you to be into it, after all.]

So you would rather remain childishly ignorant? A shame. I'd hate to tell your brother how easily frightened you are.