I thought you'd hate me... You should hate me. I know I'm insufferable, but-- Look, I can't even look at you without losing it.

[He's been running this circle of logic long enough that it sounds reasonable to him now. It doesn't even occur to him that maybe they were both wrong, or that Cu wanting to see him could actually mean he wants to continue to see him. Internalized for long enough, "sense" has been removed and only irrational self-doubt remains.]

I'm sorry. I don't want to hold you back, I really don't. You must be really happy getting to do what you're good at, so it's okay. I get it. No one wants to come home to a mess every day. B-But... being without you is so lonely.... That's why I'm going, because-- If I can't forget you, I can just go somewhere where you won't have to think about me anymore.