streetwalkers | (no subject)

You think so...? Ah, but he's the kind of scary guy who'd even kill kids to protect that person he's obsessed with. I'm not sure he's reasonable enough to clear the air with, it's kind of frightening.

[Ah-- He knew he was about to be accused of stalking, but...

He hadn't wanted to believe that kind of thing could happen. The thought that Aoba knew -- really knew had occurred to him, but he'd dismissed it as an impossibility, and he'd been spending all this time searching for an alternative to it. Any alternative.

It doesn't make sense. How would he even-- The questions are racing, and for the moment his composure has slipped. He just stands there, startled and tense.]

That's...

[He leans his head in his hand, watching Kida, phone still held casually in the other hand. He's not pretending to smile any more, just observing Kida without his own thoughts really being visible. He gets kind of a twisted pleasure from Kida's own shock, because he hates Kida. He knows what it's like to hate someone like Izaya, who's so like himself he can't stand him. And he knows what it's like not to feel anything in particular except superiority and smug disdain for other humans.]

[But when it comes to Kida it's a different kind of dislike. Mikado he can admire and be afraid of on a different level. But Kida he can only find both pitiful and scary, and the fact that he's worth finding scary pisses Aoba off most of all. That's why he's decided to throw away the parts of himself that are afraid of someone he can remember as his own murderer. After all, if they keep coming back like this, he can just become a scarier monster than Kida's made himself.]

[He doesn't have the pitiful motivation Kida does, so he thinks his reasoning of surpassing fear isn't so incorrect.]

Really frightening and unreasonable, right? That kind of obsession is sort of pitiful too. So I'm wondering how to tell Ryuugamine-senpai that there's a murderer in his life. I'm not sure how he'll react. That's why I wanted the advice of his best friend, in this matter.

I don't think he'd believe you.

[He hopes he wouldn't. But what would Mikado think of all the things he's done, really? If he knew everything...? That's why he's never told. It's something that can't be understood from the outside. And after all, the last thing Kida ever wants to see is a Mikado who truly realises how many other people's lives have been sacrificed for him -- because of his mistakes, or in the name of saving him -- and the fact that saving his life will, in itself, end at least one more.]

You could say he's the kind of optimistic naive senpai who wouldn't want to believe in bad things, that might be true. But I think it's even more naive to underestimate Ryuugamine-senpai's interest in the supernatural and unreal. At the very least I think he'd take me seriously if I approached him seriously.

Well, he wouldn't like it either, I'd feel like I was robbing him of a really nice delusion.

Leave him alone. It wouldn't get you anything to tell him.

Ah, I think it's really unreasonable to say things with that scary face Kida-senpai. You look like a villain.

You're the one making threats, aren't you? And how did you get involved, anyway? Did that bastard drag you in?

Weren't you the one who got me involved? Back before I knew what was going on even. You can't really blame other people for the crimes you've committed yourself.

It wouldn't have been a problem if you didn't keep dragging him into your games, and you know it. But I never did anything to make you remember.

You really misunderstand Ryuugamine-senpai a lot huh? I think it's okay to excuse myself for not understanding him every time I didn't remember, but you've been through this so many times I can only assume you're a hopeless case of someone who can't learn.

Shut up. It's only because the starting point is too advanced that it's such a pain. But even so, it'd be easier if manipulative little freaks like you didn't exist.

No matter how I look at it, it's really hard to figure out how Blue Square was ever threatened by a gang led by such an idiot.

Ah, well, that still leaves us with the matter of how you're going to convince me not to tell Ryuugamine-senpai about you. Of course, you could kill me, but that only works this time, and then you have to think about the next.

Or I could kill you and win this time.

[Just starts laughing.]

Shut up.

You should be a comedian, senpai!

You don't want to be trapped in it forever yourself, do you?

Who wants to be stuck in a shitty timeloop like this? So shouldn't you be trying to work with me? It's not like I think you'll be successful, though.

You don't even know what I'm trying to do.

I think I do. I figured you out a few times before I remembered everything.

[He shrugs.]

Even if I didn't have an idea, you've failed successively for about fifty tries now. Or is it longer?

I'll get it. If it means killing you on the first day every time, that's fine by me.

I'm really not the problem, senpai ♥

Though I could be if watching you fail again and again on your own got boring enough. But ultimately anything I do won't change the fact that you're going to lose and lose and lose.

[That stings. Mainly because after this long, it's hard to convince himself to get up and try every time things reset. He's failed a lot, it's true -- it look likes he has no chance of winning, and he's keenly aware of that fact. But Aoba doesn't have any right to tell him so. This monstrous little brat has no right to prod at the deepest, most tender wound he has.

It's not belief in his ability to succeed that makes him lose his composure and take a swing. It's pure and utter loathing and the lashing out of something cornered.]