[Maybe if Shinji says it enough, it'll really sink in. Right now there's still a barrier, and he's trying to make what his brother says match what he himself believes.
It doesn't really work. There's an alien feeling of warmth and security trying to come to life in him, and all the usual doubt and anger and hopelessness trying to squash it. It's a tumultuous sensation, and he freezes with his hand on the pill bottle he was looking for, his thoughts too scattered to make much sense. It's not safe to feel anything like comfort or happiness. Those things aren't for people like their family. What they were allowed was pride, but he tossed that, so what is this weird thing that's making his chest tighten and his eyes burn only a little less than his cheeks?
Things were a lot more straight forward when they just grouched at each other. It was simpler when they just confirmed each other's self-image. Byakuya had set aside the part of him that wanted to cling a long time ago, so it's really unfair of Shinji to drag it back up now.
He doesn't know what to do, so instead of do anything he just stands there and trembles with the effort not to do anything stupid like cry.]
no subject
It doesn't really work. There's an alien feeling of warmth and security trying to come to life in him, and all the usual doubt and anger and hopelessness trying to squash it. It's a tumultuous sensation, and he freezes with his hand on the pill bottle he was looking for, his thoughts too scattered to make much sense. It's not safe to feel anything like comfort or happiness. Those things aren't for people like their family. What they were allowed was pride, but he tossed that, so what is this weird thing that's making his chest tighten and his eyes burn only a little less than his cheeks?
Things were a lot more straight forward when they just grouched at each other. It was simpler when they just confirmed each other's self-image. Byakuya had set aside the part of him that wanted to cling a long time ago, so it's really unfair of Shinji to drag it back up now.
He doesn't know what to do, so instead of do anything he just stands there and trembles with the effort not to do anything stupid like cry.]