[Cu knows stubbornness. He's living with some of the most stubborn people in the world for a good chunk of his life, never mind his own tendencies.
He's less acquainted with resignation, though he's heard it in Archer's voice those few times their tipsy, late night conversations drifted towards things like being 'truly happy' or having a family. On those nights Archer spoke of being content, of being fine with their life now, but in that tone of voice that said he had wanted more once, but had given up.
That sort of shit didn't register entirely in Cu's mind, and he'd just steamrolled over that subtle emotion with stupid shit about how this life was great, how they'd makes names for themselves, how maybe one day they'd be so untouchable that they wouldn't need to sneak around on a tiny little boat. He never meant to be an ass, it's just that maybe he's more of a romantic than he looks and he isn't good at giving up on things like happiness and sex and fighting.
But he can't just laugh over Diarmuid now because he realizes that resignation means he's going to lose something that's snuck into his dumb dreams and nestled itself neatly between his plans for a nicer boat and the thought that one day he might be infamous for something.
And maybe it's just his being selfish again, not wanting to give that up, even if Diarmuid says he's satisfied, but he can't just leave it like this...]
Mm. That attitude is what makes you the person I love.
[Above anything else, that love is the most important thing in Diarmuid's life. From childhood puppylove to teenage infatuation to tormented long and on to the easy affection they have now, loving Cu has been a fixture in his life for as long as he can remember. The fact that it's ended up the way he dreamed (or as close to it as he can get now) is something he'll be eternally grateful for.
But he can't linger on it anymore right now. There isn't time for that, when they're being pursued. Soon they'll be too far from town for an easy return, so despite how much he wants to linger in Cu's arms he knows this is all they've got.]
I'll have to demand a head start, though. I'm sorry.
[To his credit, he keeps a faint smile on his face when he goes to kiss Cu's forehead. It might be the last they ever see of each other, after all. To his regret, he's got to knock Cu out with a quick and expert jab.]
[He honestly didn't expect Diarmuid to leave so quickly.
In hindsight, he should have known how urgent the situation was. He should have expected it - when he wakes up, he has no idea how long he's been out or how much of a headstart Diarmuid has. Doesn't matter. He reverses course without a second thought and storms back upstairs to swear and then scream at the Emiyas that they shouldn't ask.
They won't need to. It's obvious, really, and when they get close enough to town he throws the boat keys at Archer's head, barks something about picking up and running if they really have to, and takes off without saying much more.
Stupid Emiyas can have the fucking boat if they want it, he just needs to try and stop Diarmuid from whatever it is he's going to do because Cu goes down fighting, every time.]
[It's only been an hour or so, but that's long enough. To get to a dilapidated warehouse on the uninhabitable edges of town where garbage is dumped. To make a show of turning himself in. To surprise the whole room with his (to them) sudden ability to throw off his training and fight back.
He hasn't fought back in years. The difference now is that he has all the skills they wouldn't teach him until he was in their pocket. And there's a clarity to knowing exactly where he's going. For the first time in a long time, he isn't afraid. Oh, he's afraid of death in itself. He knows he'll be afraid when everything starts to fade. But he isn't afraid of them, or of what he has to do, and that gives him a deadly edge.
Cu can find the place by the blood trail. Maybe he let them shoot him once first on purpose. It puts up the show of a "weak" will to resist, after all. And maybe, just maybe, a small part of him wants Cu to come find him in time like he never did before. There might be a voice inside of him that he's ignoring begging for rescue he doesn't think he should have.
But that doesn't matter much, does it? Everyone's dead by the time Cu gets there. There are bodies strewn across the warehouse and outside the front doors; some dismembered, some efficiently cut with one strike. The man who trained him is on the floor in pieces. He lingered on that one despite himself, and that's why he had to run so far from the back door to get his mistress. She had time to flee. But the blood trails are thicker there, and by the end of them the blood is pooling.
Three last bodyguards with their throats slit.
A beautiful woman with a knife in her heart.
Her murderer slumped half on top of her, bleeding from dozens of wounds. It's hard to tell much much is his, but it has to be quite a bit. But unlike everyone else in this nightmare scene, he's still breathing.]
[It's luck and the fact that Cu's trade is nearly as shady that helps him find that first slick of blood on the ground. Truth be told, he didn't know what the trail would lead him to, it could have been anyone's blood, but for once luck is on his side.
He runs all the way there, panic giving way to something like disgusted hope when he sees the first body. Yeah, he's heard about how bad some of the killings had been, right down to the gory details. He knows what it could look like, and Cu doesn't have the time to regret being encouraged by the sight.
Diarmuid fought back. And maybe he didn't go to die. Maybe he decided to fix it.
Maybe--
When he finally makes it to the back of that warehouse and sees Diarmuid lying there, he's too caught up in his tunnel vision to be disgusted by anything he sees. The only thing in his mind is that oh god he's breathing, oh god save him save him save him--
Cu doesn't know where to start with the hasty first aid, so he presses his hand to the biggest wound in his range of vision and shouts]
[For a moment, there's no response. But the sharp pressure on that bullet hole in his side is enough to jerk some consciousness back into him.
He wasn't expecting to wake up. He'd already willed himself to sleep. At first his brain decides that the jolt is his body refusing to let him go without further suffering. It hurts. Ithurtsithurts everything hurts and he's scared and he just wanted to black it out. He can't focus enough to recognise that someone else is there.
So when he takes a startled, gasping breath, the first thing he does with it is sob an agonized "no, don't--" and start to cry.]
[Cu's reply is relieved, scared, and apologetic all at once. That's a lot of blood. Those are a lot of wounds. He didn't have the foresight to grab any first aid before he took off, but... but he's helping somehow, right? Diarmuid's been through this shit, right?]
[He's been through a lot of shit. Pain beyond this? Yes. But it's not the raw pain that's getting him so much as the knowledge that these are life-threatening injuries. It's that he's terrified of having to watch the world slip away, and sure that it's going to. That just makes everything worse, and learning to tolerate doesn't mean he doesn't feel it as keenly as anyone else.
His left arm works well enough to allow him to grip Cu's wrist, but he doesn't have the strength to stop him from moving that hand if he will. Still, his nails dig in and the sound his makes when he squirms is a low, tortured thing.]
Stop-- Let me--
[But suddenly, the smell of Cu's tobacco cuts the blur, and he finally opens his eyes enough to focus.]
[He looks surprised at that, not sure hot to process it. He's been so wrapped up all his old issues today that somehow it seemed odd that Cu would try hard and show up. But he'd hoped he would, hadn't he? Because he knows now how much of Diarmuid's pain comes from loneliness.
That makes him really happy. But he's also pretty sure it won't save him at this point.]
[It's certainly not something a little first aid with no equipment will fix. He needs serious medical attention or he'll really die. But that's okay. This is what he wanted.
Even though he can't keep the fear out of his voice or expression.]
Did you know, I... I'm not hallucinating anything. Isn't that kind of scary?
[TRYING.... PRETTY DAMN HARD NOT TO LOOK TOO WORRIED. HERE LET'S TRY TO PICK YOU UP DIARMUID WE'LL JUST FIND A PLACE TO GET YOU TAKEN CARE OF IT'LL BE OKAY, YEAH TOTALLY...]
[He's starting to get drowsy, so he gets his better arm around Cu's neck, just so he can hold on and press his face into him. Everything's wet with blood -- somehow it's funny that Cu's still trying.]
[Ah, but that contact is nice... a little calming, maybe, but they're pretty far off from help, and Cu is trying to weigh the pros and cons of busting in on Kirei and forcing him to do something (like that would ever work) and fuck fuck fuck--]
[...yeah, there's really not much of a choice, is there? He can't think of any other place that's closer. He would rather not, of course, but when time and options are limited, he doesn't have much of a choice.
Diarmuid might know the church courtyard Cu heads towards. It's Kirei's.]
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streetwalkers2012-11-07 01:37 am
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He's less acquainted with resignation, though he's heard it in Archer's voice those few times their tipsy, late night conversations drifted towards things like being 'truly happy' or having a family. On those nights Archer spoke of being content, of being fine with their life now, but in that tone of voice that said he had wanted more once, but had given up.
That sort of shit didn't register entirely in Cu's mind, and he'd just steamrolled over that subtle emotion with stupid shit about how this life was great, how they'd makes names for themselves, how maybe one day they'd be so untouchable that they wouldn't need to sneak around on a tiny little boat. He never meant to be an ass, it's just that maybe he's more of a romantic than he looks and he isn't good at giving up on things like happiness and sex and fighting.
But he can't just laugh over Diarmuid now because he realizes that resignation means he's going to lose something that's snuck into his dumb dreams and nestled itself neatly between his plans for a nicer boat and the thought that one day he might be infamous for something.
And maybe it's just his being selfish again, not wanting to give that up, even if Diarmuid says he's satisfied, but he can't just leave it like this...]
I'm still gonna try and stop you, you know.
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[Above anything else, that love is the most important thing in Diarmuid's life. From childhood puppylove to teenage infatuation to tormented long and on to the easy affection they have now, loving Cu has been a fixture in his life for as long as he can remember. The fact that it's ended up the way he dreamed (or as close to it as he can get now) is something he'll be eternally grateful for.
But he can't linger on it anymore right now. There isn't time for that, when they're being pursued. Soon they'll be too far from town for an easy return, so despite how much he wants to linger in Cu's arms he knows this is all they've got.]
I'll have to demand a head start, though. I'm sorry.
[To his credit, he keeps a faint smile on his face when he goes to kiss Cu's forehead. It might be the last they ever see of each other, after all. To his regret, he's got to knock Cu out with a quick and expert jab.]
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In hindsight, he should have known how urgent the situation was. He should have expected it - when he wakes up, he has no idea how long he's been out or how much of a headstart Diarmuid has. Doesn't matter. He reverses course without a second thought and storms back upstairs to swear and then scream at the Emiyas that they shouldn't ask.
They won't need to. It's obvious, really, and when they get close enough to town he throws the boat keys at Archer's head, barks something about picking up and running if they really have to, and takes off without saying much more.
Stupid Emiyas can have the fucking boat if they want it, he just needs to try and stop Diarmuid from whatever it is he's going to do because Cu goes down fighting, every time.]
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He hasn't fought back in years. The difference now is that he has all the skills they wouldn't teach him until he was in their pocket. And there's a clarity to knowing exactly where he's going. For the first time in a long time, he isn't afraid. Oh, he's afraid of death in itself. He knows he'll be afraid when everything starts to fade. But he isn't afraid of them, or of what he has to do, and that gives him a deadly edge.
Cu can find the place by the blood trail. Maybe he let them shoot him once first on purpose. It puts up the show of a "weak" will to resist, after all. And maybe, just maybe, a small part of him wants Cu to come find him in time like he never did before. There might be a voice inside of him that he's ignoring begging for rescue he doesn't think he should have.
But that doesn't matter much, does it? Everyone's dead by the time Cu gets there. There are bodies strewn across the warehouse and outside the front doors; some dismembered, some efficiently cut with one strike. The man who trained him is on the floor in pieces. He lingered on that one despite himself, and that's why he had to run so far from the back door to get his mistress. She had time to flee. But the blood trails are thicker there, and by the end of them the blood is pooling.
Three last bodyguards with their throats slit.
A beautiful woman with a knife in her heart.
Her murderer slumped half on top of her, bleeding from dozens of wounds. It's hard to tell much much is his, but it has to be quite a bit. But unlike everyone else in this nightmare scene, he's still breathing.]
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He runs all the way there, panic giving way to something like disgusted hope when he sees the first body. Yeah, he's heard about how bad some of the killings had been, right down to the gory details. He knows what it could look like, and Cu doesn't have the time to regret being encouraged by the sight.
Diarmuid fought back. And maybe he didn't go to die. Maybe he decided to fix it.
Maybe--
When he finally makes it to the back of that warehouse and sees Diarmuid lying there, he's too caught up in his tunnel vision to be disgusted by anything he sees. The only thing in his mind is that oh god he's breathing, oh god save him save him save him--
Cu doesn't know where to start with the hasty first aid, so he presses his hand to the biggest wound in his range of vision and shouts]
Diarmuid! Hey!
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He wasn't expecting to wake up. He'd already willed himself to sleep. At first his brain decides that the jolt is his body refusing to let him go without further suffering. It hurts. Ithurtsithurts everything hurts and he's scared and he just wanted to black it out. He can't focus enough to recognise that someone else is there.
So when he takes a startled, gasping breath, the first thing he does with it is sob an agonized "no, don't--" and start to cry.]
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[Cu's reply is relieved, scared, and apologetic all at once. That's a lot of blood. Those are a lot of wounds. He didn't have the foresight to grab any first aid before he took off, but... but he's helping somehow, right? Diarmuid's been through this shit, right?]
Just bear with it for a bit more...
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His left arm works well enough to allow him to grip Cu's wrist, but he doesn't have the strength to stop him from moving that hand if he will. Still, his nails dig in and the sound his makes when he squirms is a low, tortured thing.]
Stop-- Let me--
[But suddenly, the smell of Cu's tobacco cuts the blur, and he finally opens his eyes enough to focus.]
...Cu?
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[Man, there's a lot of blood. Like a whole lot. And as that feeling of hope subsides, Cu realizes he's scared.]
Sorry it didn't do you more good - I was real focused, finding you.
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[He looks surprised at that, not sure hot to process it. He's been so wrapped up all his old issues today that somehow it seemed odd that Cu would try hard and show up. But he'd hoped he would, hadn't he? Because he knows now how much of Diarmuid's pain comes from loneliness.
That makes him really happy. But he's also pretty sure it won't save him at this point.]
But... You're too late.
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[panic? Mild panic. Oh god. What do?]
Can you get up?
[A pause]
...er, probably not, so...
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[It's certainly not something a little first aid with no equipment will fix. He needs serious medical attention or he'll really die. But that's okay. This is what he wanted.
Even though he can't keep the fear out of his voice or expression.]
Did you know, I... I'm not hallucinating anything. Isn't that kind of scary?
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[TRYING.... PRETTY DAMN HARD NOT TO LOOK TOO WORRIED. HERE LET'S TRY TO PICK YOU UP DIARMUID WE'LL JUST FIND A PLACE TO GET YOU TAKEN CARE OF IT'LL BE OKAY, YEAH TOTALLY...]
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Because... Everything's fading. It's over, so there's nothing left to be afraid of.
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[Still, he steps lightly and tries not to jostle Diarmuid too much]
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[He's starting to get drowsy, so he gets his better arm around Cu's neck, just so he can hold on and press his face into him. Everything's wet with blood -- somehow it's funny that Cu's still trying.]
You'll be okay...
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[Ah, but that contact is nice... a little calming, maybe, but they're pretty far off from help, and Cu is trying to weigh the pros and cons of busting in on Kirei and forcing him to do something (like that would ever work) and fuck fuck fuck--]
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[deep breaths Cu. Just keep composed and this'll work out, right?]
...we didn't have enough time.
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[he is sounding very sleepy at this point]
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[Ugh, it sounds stupid, but it's true, isn't it? As far as Cu's concerned, they still haven't made up for all that lost time.]
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[...yeah, there's really not much of a choice, is there? He can't think of any other place that's closer. He would rather not, of course, but when time and options are limited, he doesn't have much of a choice.
Diarmuid might know the church courtyard Cu heads towards. It's Kirei's.]
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...Don't.
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