[He really, really doesn't want to look into Mikado's eyes. He has a hard enough time doing that when they're happy -- right now, it's torture. But somehow, once their gazes are locked, it feels like he's trapped. He's stuck, staring down at the same blue-grey that he swear he could get lost in forever if he just had the courage, on good days. In happier timelines. Faced with that, he can't muster the strength to be angry. What shows on his face is guilt, heartbreak, sorrow, and the overwhelming love that makes the rest of it a hundred times worse.]
I'm sorry...
[He barely chokes it past the tightness in his throat, and once it's out the stopper on the rest comes up with it. He goes from barely held in check to sobbing in an instant, repeating that apology in a hysterical whimper as he tries to break Mikado's grip and move the gun up between his eyes. Only he knows he's apologizing for so, so much more than what's happening right now.]
no subject
I'm sorry...
[He barely chokes it past the tightness in his throat, and once it's out the stopper on the rest comes up with it. He goes from barely held in check to sobbing in an instant, repeating that apology in a hysterical whimper as he tries to break Mikado's grip and move the gun up between his eyes. Only he knows he's apologizing for so, so much more than what's happening right now.]