[Kida pauses for a moment, more considering whether to speak than considering what to say. He's been rehearsing a million conversations for weeks.]

But I... Maybe it's a sign how fucked up I am, but I want you to push me. Don't hurt me, just... [looking at the floor seems like a good way not to be afraid] I-I think I need it, a little. Being held down. We can find a safe limit, right?